25 days until Ally and I set off on our Camino adventure.
There are so many things going through my mind…some of it healthy, some not. And Mother Nature…well, she has been putting a huge damper on any outdoor preparation that we can do….but we still got some road miles logged in the freezing cold, snow-not-melting-yet, where-is-spring? weather.
I am certainly nervous, and feeling very unprepared. But I am also feeling guilty for leaving home, work, commitments for a month. It’s not just leaving work commitments in the hands of colleagues, but leaving our home commitments with my husband. And although I know he is fully capable of handling things without me, I still feel we are a team and I’m letting the team down by running off to Europe without him…
And then this Toby Mac post pops up on my social media…
So maybe it will be alright after all….
Last night while visiting with friends, between the ‘have you lost your mind?’ and ‘you’re going to walk how many kilometers every day?’ questions I got a ‘why are you doing this?’. Honestly, I had to pause and I did not have a quick response or answer to that question. I mean, I have an answer but…this journey is so personal that I had a hard time explaining myself. It’s not like I just found a trail guide and decided to take off, this has been in planning stages for a year now. I just could not nail down an answer that would have been sufficient or that would have been understood.
Ultimately, I am doing this Camino to find a better understanding of myself, to really find my spiritual self, to strengthen my faith, and to work through the grief of losing Mom last year. Recently there has been ‘stuff’ added to my list of things to work through, including loss, and stress-management, standing up for myself and building back some of the confidence I have lost over the last couple years. I want this to be a time of reflection and to renew my spirit.
And my hope is that Ally will be able to work through things that she needs to also. And I hope this will strengthen our relationship by going through the ups and downs of Camino life together. And..and..and… there are many reasons why….but I guess my answer should have been, “Why not?”.